Page Sixty Four: The Portal

Discussion (36) ¬

  1. LCII^Bun-Bun

    Possibly first? :p

    Ah, who cares.
    Sorry to bring “bad” news but I would like to comment on some stuff that looks weird:
    1. In the first panel, the corner in the wall looks very weird: it half seems like a new panel. But because of your angle it’s hard to make it show it’s a corner of a wall.
    I would suggest applying a patern to the floor to give it a better idea of depth, but seeing how you have little floor here, that is also pretty hard.
    The general corner of the wall is also quite bland, but I don’t know how to fix that frankly :p though you could possibly make it that it ends in a pillar, a bit like you see on the left of the first panel.
    2. The big Snake / basilisk like creatures / statues in the next to last panel look a bit weird, a bit to big or to much into the room. I have no idea if you have plans for them to be some kind of guardian (which would explain a lot) but it seems a bit weird.
    I suppose you could try to make them a bit smaller horizontally (as in, put them closer to the wall) but it might mess up with your plans.
    3. NOW I suddenly notice it: you have no shadows at all! I honestly have no clue if you used shadows before, but they might be appropriate here, cause it’s hard to see if the snake like statues are “floating” or leaning on the ground. It also looks weird on some other stuff.

    I tried to give constructive critisism, something I ain’t very good at (I usually just try to shut up and read over it, mostly because it’s still halfway into the comic I’ve just found) but I hope you find it… constructive and can use the information. Mind you it is MY opinion, but it is what I think about it.
    That is next to the fact that I like the story so far, and in general love the drawing style and skill (though I must admit that buildings are not your forte :p )

    Best of luck and I hope you can use this!
    Bun-Bun / Friso

    • David

      Yeah, I am calling a bit of attention to the snake statues for some reason =) I’m kind of still messing around with the shadows. On one hand, I’m trying to keep it cartoony, and the place is supposed to be neutrally lit, but looking at it now I realize the candles really mess that idea up in that room. I’m okay with the first panel, though – I think the table and the wall pattern glue the room together well enough.

      I’ll just be arbitrarily adding buildings to my art until I work out how to do them. If you’ve noticed, that’s how I’ve been developing my art with this comic.

      This is my first webcomic – first serious project, really, so it was created for the purpose of learning. I have no problem at all with constructive discourse and criticism. Thanks :)

      • ~L.K.

        Sorry to add to any art critiques, but when you show a side view of Laz, his horns seem too forward than when you show him front-forward. Maybe its just me? Your art definitely has potential. I glance over (and if I like them, continue) a lot of webcomics, but your art is on the better side of the scale.

        I like the statue on the top right panel a lot, by the way. And on that note, what most likely seems weird about your walls is the lack of depth, however, depending on how much time and how often you update, you could change that accordingly. (I’ll post links in reply to this, in case bots don’t like it and I won’t feel like retyping all of this.)

        Also, I like any cheesy or gaudy puns (I remembe reading something about that in an earlier comment), and its been very fun. I haven’t studied mythology for a few years, so I’m a little rusty, but its a lot of fun.

        I’m new to your comic, just finished reading the archives, ha.

        • ~L.K.

          http://www.meekcomic.com/

          Is extensively detailed (warning on the comic in general, but not the front page, the comic has nudity, but not sexual–they’re just human figures) and you can see a lot of texture in everything.

          http://www.cealdiancomic.com/

          Is about the same in detail (no warning, as it does not contain nudity), and also contain an insane amount of detail.

          I’m not saying to be exactly like them, but more or less, these could be inspirations for bland walls which are so hard to spruce up! (I’ve attempted to draw a comic before and walls are aggravating; I hate drawing detail, which is why I stick to figure-drawing at the moment, in the rare chance I sketch.)

          • David

            Thanks for the ideas and links. Again, I just started this comic to build up my artistic basics – I really appreciate any help, and boy do I need it ;P

            I’ve been thinking about touching up the first year or so worth of stuff once I’m a little later in and start working on compiling a print version.

  2. Supertwitfan

    I have to second that shadow part. It is inside a temple with no windows((That I can see)) and there will be torches and candles. In my experiance, torches and candles don’t light up a room neutrally. Messing with shadows is a bit tricky though.

    I can see that you did a good job with the shadows on the second to last panel.

    Has Laz ever heard of the term curiousity killed the cat lol?

  3. Supertwitfan

    Is it wrong that I am looking at this from school? I was suprised to see this wasn’t blocked by school WI FI =D

  4. Uhl

    A realistic set of shadows here would make the comic unreadable (we wouldn’t be able to recognize a single object in the room, except the portal statues in the next to last frame) let’s just say that the lab is mostly lit by Naga magic, and the candles at the portal are an offering at an altar and setting their own shadows.

    • Eis

      I read a book series called Fabelhaven in which they used stones imbedded in the ceiling that, should any one of them be touched by light the others would shine in the same way, I thought it was a neat plot device for labyrinths.

      • David

        That’d save a mint in lighting bills, at least!

      • rennat951

        hey, thats a good series

  5. CatgirlComics

    Panel 3: His tail is missing. :3

    • Supertwitfan

      lol. I just realized he added that.

  6. Voligne

    Is there a reason he has no tail now?

    • David

      AAARGH. There I fixed it.

      Yes, though, there is a reason – It’s that people around me tend to lose extremities when it’s finals crunch time and I am sleep deprived. Artistically and literally.

      Two more weeks and I’ll be catching a break in terms of workload and school load, though. I promise a decline in the number of obvious mistakes after that.

  7. Don MacDonald

    David, that “some one” would be me. Thanks for the shout-out and the link. Glad you’re liking my rehabilitation of Machiavelli.

    Looking through your archives, Underling is pretty sweet itself. Nice Work!

    -Don

    • David

      Hope I managed to send some traffic your way! Comics like yours are doing a great thing by popularizing important figures and literature.

      Great to hear you’re enjoying Underling so far! Thanks.

  8. Supertwitfan

    In the second panel Laz needs to brush his teeth. They all brown and stuff.

    • Uhl

      Well, he didn’t exactly bring his toiletries with him when sucked through the “hell” portal now did he?

      • Supertwitfan

        Well he should’ve. When a portal through hell is about to suck me up, the first thing I grab is my tooth brush. When I die, I die with good oral hygene!!!

        • Supertwitfan

          oops, wrong reply… I wish there was a delete button….

          • Supertwitfan

            no wait, it was the right reply. I need to get more sleep.

  9. lilspirit16

    hmmmm…Looking at this page has caght my attention. Best I head to the beginning to catch p and see why all is going on! :3

    • David

      Please forgive the terrible old art back there. I drew it a whole couple months ago!

  10. Solario the Visored

    “HOLD IT! …That evidence is crap!”
    “OBJECTION! Your face is crap!”

    • Animie fan

      Objection sustained

      • Supertwitfan

        Your honor! I have a great sense of hairstyle, there for I should win!

        • Animie fan

          GREAT SCOT HES RIGHT!! SOLARIO, I FIND YOU GUILTY OF HAVING INSUFICIANT HAIR STYLE!!! :twisted:

          • Supertwitfan

            Thank you your honor. *Wig falls down* oh sh…

  11. Habenzy

    Yeah, so Machiavelli was actually A pretty liberal guy who spoke out against the ruling class of Florence for a while, he wrote a very liberal treatise on the advantages of a republican system of government. Then the ruling class came back to town and threatened to kill his family and torture him to death if he didn’t start supporting them more. Then he wrote “The Prince” and did a whole bunch of propaganda. Which is what he’s now known for. I may be a bit of a history geek.

    • David

      He still did work with the government until he was arrested and all that, if I remember right. He wasn’t a terribly happy guy after the exile, and people have been debating over the motives and attitudes behind the prince for a long time. Some people argue that he wrote it as a parody of the power-brokering political atmosphere in Florence at the time. Others argue that it was the same anger that got him going as a realist. Others say it was bittersweet patriotism. He was an interesting guy, that’s for sure.

  12. kwah

    that’s a o shit caught moment if Ive ever seen one

  13. Neo

    sulphuric acid.

  14. Saffron

    I love that fact that this comic involves Rajputs . I am Rajput and bonus , a hindu so i understand all of this mythology.

  15. rennat951

    uhh question whats vitriol

  16. Dickens

    Now your thinking with Portals!! :D !!!

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