Comments on: Page Seventy Seven: New Developments Updated Fridays. Usually. Tue, 15 May 2018 11:17:51 +0000 hourly 1 By: KM Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:18:40 +0000 According to Wikipedia:
Chiffon may refer to:
Chiffon cake, a light, fluffy cake
chiffon, a type of fabric
Chiffon margarine, a butter substitute
Chiffonade, a French term for the cutting of herbs or leafy green vegetables into long, thin strips
The Chiffons, girl group of the 1960s

By: Marscaleb Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:33:47 +0000 @Damien
No way, He needed to get to Lilitu quickly.
I understand the desire for the backstory, but that doesn’t justify spending so much time on it.
With a good story, you need to sell your audience quickly. For example in a screenplay the goal is twenty minutes. If the audience can’t get into the movie by then, then you have lost the audience. (Pull out a bunch of good movies and time them, it may surprise you how they all establish the critical elements just as the 20 minute marker rolls around.)
With this comic, yes some back-story and character development would be nice, but he can’t waste two months of comics showing that **right at the beginning** because people will lose interest.
We need to get to the good stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that the comic is really about instead of wasting time on the padding.
I thought that he went through the collecting of the relics way too fast, but shortly afterward I come to learn that that’s not what the comic is about, so why should he waste time on the setup when he could instead get to what the story needed to focus on?

And the idea of focus is why we never see his mother’s face. If we did, we would have more connection to her, and have more of a desire to see what becomes of her, and wanting to see Laz reunited with her. By not showing a face, she becomes very disconnected to us; she’s not important enough to have a face, so we have minimal interest to her.
Furthermore having that disconnection with her but seeing Laz helps subliminally establish that Laz is somewhat disconnected to her as well; hence why no one questions why Laz isn’t talking about his mom and saying he wants to see her again, like a normal young boy would.

By: Damien Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:39:27 +0000 Umm…,

Sorry, I forgot about that.

By: Umm... Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:32:08 +0000 Read the cast section, Damian. Foster mother.

By: Damien Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:39:56 +0000 David,

You’re Welcome. I hope I enjoy the rest of your story as much as what you have written so far.

By: David Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:52:46 +0000 Thank you for your feedback!

First off, I promise there’s a reason I’m dancing back and forth between the scenes for the start of this chapter. I think that’ll become apparent in just a couple pages, when things start to come together.

About the first chapter – I just tried to establish Laz rather than explain him, as I want the events in the story to develop him rather than the exposition. I promise that we’ll be learning more about Laz’s past and motivations as his adventure continues! There will be quite a few interesting answers in this chapter alone, in fact…

By: Damien Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:52:14 +0000 David,

You’re Comic book is very well drawn, and I’m enjoying your story so far. I especially like the way you drew Lazarus, before and after he turned into a demon. The story is very entertaining, but some of your transitions are a bit abrupt. On the Last page Lazarus had just arrived in the void, and was being tempted by his inner demon. Now poof, you’re back to this realm of lost souls. I personally would have liked to have seen some more character development in the first chapter before Lazarus even met Lilitu.

Also, there is something I’m confused about. On page Sixty Seven, Lazarus is told that his father is the devil. Granted, you never showed us who his father was in the first chapter. However, If his father really is supposed to be Satan, shouldn’t you have implied early on that he didn’t know who his father was, and that there was something mysterious about him? The other thing that really disappointed me, was the fact you never once showed the his mother’s face.

By: David Thu, 24 Jun 2010 02:39:35 +0000 Huzzah! Thanks.

By: shabaab Thu, 24 Jun 2010 02:38:30 +0000 You’ve just gained a reader, sir! I was linked here from Gunnerkrigg, saw this page and I’m really enjoying this. Keep it up!

By: David Thu, 24 Jun 2010 02:24:38 +0000 I think it’s a kind of shrubbery.

Or maybe a cake?